Ready to Go Home

Today, Wednesday, October 25, 2017 marks what will be our last full day living in Mountain View. The bins and boxes are out. Suitcases are packed. Cupboards are emptied. We are finally headed home tomorrow. As much as I would like to stay a little longer just to avoid the poor air quality in Vallejo from the fires, not to mention try more of the different foods here in the south bay, there's nothing Becky and I would rather do than to go back home, living in our house, sleeping in our bed, seeing our family and friends, and trying to return to a life of normalcy. So there will be no more all day clomping from the rude neighbor upstairs, no more construction sounds from the street, no more El Camino traffic, no more trying to find a parking spot in the hospital garage.

Over the past week since I hit Day 90, we've eaten French dip sandwiches, Rubios tacos and burritos, deep dish pizza, and Indian food. No Whoppers, no Big Macs, no burrito trucks...for now. And I'm still at -30 lbs from the day I first checked into the hospital. My goal is to continue building on that when we go home.

Healthwise, last Monday I had my bone marrow biopsy, which went very well. This was biopsy number 5 for me this past year, but the first time they used a drill. Despite the unsettling sound of an electric drill whittling away at your hip, this was actually the quickest and least painful of all the bone marrow biopsies that I have received. The following Thursday, I had my last ITA (Infusion Treatment Area) visit in the Cancer Center, where they would check my vitals, draw my blood for labs, and speak with me about my lab results and overall health. They also removed the PICC line I've had in my left arm for the past few months. I'm so thankful for all the wonderful care I received from the Stanford nurses, doctors, and physician assistants over the past 3-4 months while both in the hospital and Cancer Center. While the nurses differed from visit to visit, I had a BMT doctor, Dr. Lori Muffly, and a physician's assistant, Brooke Smith (my WNBA PA), that really got to know me and oversaw my care most of the time that I was there. This is my plug for Stanford Healthcare and PPOs vs HMOs, where you can actually choose to go to Stanford for world class care if you don't live nearby.

This past Monday was also my last doctors visit while living in the area, as I transitioned out of the ITA to the clinic downstairs with my BMT doctor, Dr. Shizuru. My bone marrow biopsy results were great. No blast cells, no Leukemia. They will conduct biopsies every 6 months to keep an eye on how things are progressing. My labs were also great. In fact, my hemoglobin (14.3; std range 13.5-17.7) and white blood cells (5.8; std range 4-11) were the highest they have ever been during this process. The WBC level could be misleading, however, because the prednisone I'm taking can elevate counts. My platelets (134; std range 150-400) also continue to increase ever so slowly. Absolute neutrophil count (ANC) is also good (4.55; std range 1.7-6.7).

While I get to home this week, my doctor recommended that I not return to work (even working from home) at least until December. While I may feel like I have the energy to return to a sense of normalcy, I need to take the time to rest and get used to being back home, where I don't get medical care twice a week, where I'm not 30 minutes away from Stanford. Doctor's orders!

As I look back at this journey that God has allowed both me and Becky to go through, one can easily wonder, why God? Why have us go through these specific trials, such suffering? I guess if it were up to us, we would all choose the path of least resistance. But we know that God uses both times of prosperity and times of trial to build up our faith and draw us ever closer to Him. Every step of the way, He has been our shield and our provider, our great physician and comforter, never leaving us to ourselves, always interceding for us, both in the minutiae and the big picture. These are but the major highlights:

• God's Sovereignty: He allowed me to tear my Achilles last April so that I could see a doctor that would order the blood tests to detect the cancer in my blood.
• God's Provision: He allowed me to work from home 1-2 days a week from September 2016 until July 2017 around all my blood transfusions and doctors visits in order to save up all of the sick and vacation time needed to go on disability following the transplant.
• God's Sovereignty and Provision: He allowed me to switch to from a HMO to PPO during my company's open enrollment in November 2016, not too long after the discovery of my blood cancer, so that I could have the flexibility to go to Stanford should a transplant be needed. Imagine if I needed a transplant earlier in 2016 and was still stuck with Sutter under an HMO?
• God's Sovereignty and Provision: He provided me with a bone marrow donor in my sister who would be a perfect 10/10 match when Asian bone marrow donors are so hard to find.
• God's Provision: He provided us with a great modern apartment with an in-unit washer and dryer after we were hoping to get into the older (non-air conditioned) apartments near the hospital.
• God's Provision: He provided a deeply discounted apartment rate through Stanford which apparently not all patients receive, based on my conversations with other patients in my apartment complex.
• God's Sovereignty and Provision: He approved medical insurance reimbursement of our south bay housing by allowing us to use a longer travel route from home. He did this by also giving us an insurance nurse who happened to be a Christian who was sympathetic to our mileage situation.
• God's Provision: He provided approval of my Aflac critical illness insurance payout, even though my condition was technically pre-existing before I signed up for the coverage at the end of last year.  
• God's Protection: He protected my health during the whole transplant process, with only minor setbacks from the mouth sores, fevers, CMV, and nausea. I look at some of these other transplant patients and see how bad things could have gone.
• God's Purposes: Prior to my transplant, He allowed us to meet a Christian couple through some friends. The husband had gone through an autologous transplant 2 years ago and we were greatly encouraged by their experience. And on our way out of here, He allowed us to meet another Christian couple through a different set of friends. The wife is receiving her BMT today, as I type--the same allogeneic transplant with same chemo regimen. Her sister was a 10/10 match, just as mine was.
• God's Provision: While we were away from the CBC Vallejo church family, we were still able to be plugged in by being able to listen to sermons via Skype (thanks to Julian) and soon after via the newly launched Facebook Live stream of the morning services.
• God's Love: Despite being 1.5 hours away from Vallejo, we were overwhelmed by the love from friends, coworkers, and family who frequently texted and called with words of encouragement, and came to visit us while in the hospital and apartment, toting food, snacks, and gifts. Never did we feel alone during this time. John 13:35 says, "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Isaiah 55:8-9
⁸“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.
⁹ “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

James 1:12

¹² Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

Romans 8:28-39

²⁸ And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to  His purpose. ²⁹ For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; ³⁰ and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.
³¹ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? ³² He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? ³³ Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; ³⁴ who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. ³⁵ Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? ³⁶ Just as it is written,

“For Your sake we are being put to death all day long;
We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

³⁷ But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Day Plus 65-90-The Home Stretch

I know it's been a while since I last blogged on September 22. Call me lazy. A lot has gone on during this past month so I'll just try to provide you with the highlights:

Oct 3: I celebrated my 42nd birthday by going for a walk around the Google campus with Becky. It was nice just to get out to somewhere new and enjoy the fresh air. Outside of going to the hospital twice a week, that was a very first for me, to go outside and just walk. Thankfully the weather was nice and there weren't lots of people roaming around. Becky made me lasagna and yellow cake with chocolate frosting for dinner.

Oct 5: I had an endoscopy and flexible sigmoidoscopy to get some biopsy samples to determine potential causes for the ongoing nausea. Results came back negative outside of some inflammation, so they treated me for potential graph versus host disease with a steroid (Prednisone). They started me at 80 mg and are tapering me down by 10 mg every 3 days.

October 8-14: The Napa and Santa Rosa fires broke so I could not stop watching the news since they were so close to home. I kept watching to make sure that it did not spread into Vallejo near our home. Hearing of some friends losing their homes, many others nearly losing their homes was heartbreaking. Let's just say that week my sisters and I had some long text discussions about disaster preparedness. Bug out bag contents may be the new gift exchange theme this year. We could smell the smoke all the way to the south bay where we were living in Mountain View. That first Monday we thought there was a fire here until we saw the news on Facebook. That day my eyes were very watery and I was congested with a runny nose. I thought I was getting sick but thankfully it cleared up the next day.

Oct 12-14: Becky's family from Nashville came to visit while they did college tours for the eldest kids at Cal, Stanford, UCSC, and Santa Clara. They conveniently ended up at the hotel right across from our apartment complex. It was good to catch up with them since we don't see them that often. The rest of the local family came to visit all of us while they were here as well. I was probably torturing myself watching everyone eat, but I did get to see and smell a lot of great local restaurant food (Korean, French Dip, Mexican) that I could not yet eat until Day 90. Mental food checklist!

Oct 15: We were able to spend time with a young Christian family from Santa Rosa who was going through the same procedure I had just gone through. It was a crazy week for them as they had nearly lost their home in the fires and then to now go through this. They had moved into our same complex and were previously introduced to us by some common friends living in Santa Rosa. The husband is a police officer from the Santa Rosa PD and the wife had already gone through numerous rounds of chemotherapy to get her Leukemia into remission in preparation for the bone marrow transplant that she is to receive in the coming weeks at Stanford. It's amazing how God connected us to them to be a source of comfort and encouragement the same way we were able to be comforted and encouraged by another Christian couple living in San Jose, connected through some other friends, where the husband had gone through a bone marrow transplant several years ago. One of the reasons God allows us to go through trials is so that we can sympathize with those who go through the same trials. Please pray for this couple, John and Angela, and their 2 little girls as they are just starting this transplant process. FYI Angela's donating sister was a 10/10 match just as mine was.

2 Cor 1:3-7 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."

October 17: Day 90 Post-Transplant. This is the day I've been waiting for. For me it marks the day when I can start eating restaurant food for the first time. For lunch we had sirloin French dip sandwiches with grilled onions and mushrooms, au jus, and horseradish sauce. While I have this freedom, I still need to be careful with my food intake, especially while I'm still on Prednisone. While this is a wonder drug in many ways, it unfortunately acts as an immunosuppressant, i.e., if I get sick from any improperly prepared food, it will be difficult for my body to fight back. I'll be avoiding fast food places where food is made ahead of time, rather than made-to-order. Day 90 also marks the removal of certain pills from my daily regimen. We look forward to finally being able to go home, perhaps in the coming weeks, barring any setbacks with my biopsy results and nausea.

Day Plus 51-64-Staying Healthy

For the past 14 days, from Friday Sept 8-Friday Sept 22, I've just been trying to stay healthy. God has been kind to allow me not to catch anything since I've had the transplant and now have a weakened immune system. I've been swabbed more times than I'd like, but every time the results came back negative. During this time, a lot of our friends who have planned to visit have either gotten sick or were around sick people. It must be that time of the year again. Becky even got a flu shot, but she ended up getting sick with congestion and other symptoms so we had to take additional precautionary measures.

Despite my transplant being successful, my weakened immune system was due in large part to the Ganciclovir grenade I've been taking for the past month to treat the cytomegalovirus (CMV) that was detected almost a month ago in my blood. It was expected that this antiviral medication would lower my white blood cell and platelet counts, which have been steadily on the decline. Fortunately, with the CMV now being at undetectable levels in my blood, the doctors decided to take me off of the Ganciclovir just yesterday, so my white blood cells and platelets should start rising again. So at this point, all I've been trying to fight off is the occasional nausea that comes in the evenings.

In other efforts to stay healthy, I continue to try to drink at least 2-3 liters of fluids per day, ranging from water, to Gatorade, to iced tea, to lemonade. We've also been trying to exercise, key word being try, by doing walking videos in the apartment or going to the gym for some cardio. I'm still 25lbs lighter than when I first checked into the hospital, so I'm glad I haven't gained what I lost with my diet being back to normal.

Day Plus 41-50-God Provides

The Grenade

For the past 10 days, from Tuesday Aug 29-Thursday Sept 7, I've just been resting, recovering and relaxing in the apartment from my CMV virus. I still had slight fevers in the 99s, but nothing to worry about. It was only until the past 3 or 4 days that my temperature finally became normal. I guess that means the Ganciclovir grenade (or Christmas ornament) which Becky administers to me twice a day is working. This antiviral medication will continue until CMV counts are undetectable in my blood. During this time, some of my counts have dropped, particularly my platelets and white blood cells, but the doctors say this is normal when you have CMV and are taking Ganciclovir. Hemoglobin and absolute neutrophil count (ANC) remain steady.

Force Friday at Target

On the lighter side of things, I was excited to experience Force Friday on Friday Sept 1. I was planning on going to Target Friday morning with Becky to see and snag some of the new Star Wars releases (less people early morning so it was possible for me to go out in public). Unfortunately the two Targets near our apartment (both only 2-3 miles away) had midnight openings so that meant a lot more people, so I decided to pass and do some internet shopping instead, which was a bust. Becky went out for me later in the day Friday and found one of the things I was considering, a 6" Stars Wars Black Series Rey and Speeder. Elias was also able to snag a couple other 6" figures (Hera and Thrawn) for me at Target Concord on his way home from work.

KYFFL 2017 Draft (I'm in the iPad)

The following day, on Saturday, we held our annual Fantasy Football draft, which has been ongoing for the past 15 years. It is a 10 man league, and all of us have been friends for many, many years. This is always done in person over breakfast at someone's house, using an actual draft board with players names on stickers. Thanks to technology, I was able to FaceTime into the draft. I had the #4 pick which I used to select Julio Jones. My 2nd round pick was Tom Brady. I felt good about my team overall.

One of the other pieces of awesome news I heard during this past week was that my critical illness insurance claim from Aflac was approved, which issues me a lump sum payout. Not bad for only $8 a paycheck. I honestly wasn't sure it would be approved because it was a pre-existing condition, which started in August 2016, but I had only signed up for the insurance during my work's open enrollment period in November 2016, with coverage starting in 2017. When I signed up I didn't know I was going to need a transplant, but I knew it was a possibility. All I can say is that God provides. Becky and I couldn't believe it when I followed up with Aflac during this past week only to learn it had already been approved and deposited to my account. This was another one of God's great provisions during this whole bone marrow transplant journey.

Psalm 40:4-5
⁴ How blessed is the man who has made the Lord his trust,
And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood.
⁵ Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done,
And Your thoughts toward us;
There is none to compare with You.
If I would declare and speak of them,
They would be too numerous to count.

I cannot help but reflect on how God has proven Himself faithful time and time again during this journey. These are only the major highlights of how He has provided for Becky and I both financially and physically, because as the psalmist stated, "many are the wonders which You have done...If I would declare and speak of them, they would be too numerous to count."

• My sister was a perfect 10/10 bone marrow match. Who knows how long I would have waited to find a match through the bone marrow registry.
• Only days before my hospital admission, Becky found a place to stay only 2 miles away at the Stanford Guest House for the roughly 30 days I would be in the hospital, which is very hard to get into year round, and is open only to guests of Stanford University, SLAC Lab, and hospital.
• Medical insurance agreed to reimburse our lodging ($50/day for when Becky was by herself and $100/day when Becky and I were staying together). Initial conversations with Anthem required us to be 75 miles or more from our home to the hospital to be covered for lodging reimbursement. We were slightly under 75 miles, but it wasn't until days before my hospital admission that Anthem allowed us to use alternate routes over 75 miles to be eligible for reimbursement.
• Stanford Hospital was able to get us financial assistance for lodging when Becky and I were together upon discharge, basically reducing our apartment rent to $60/day (not including Anthem reimbursements).
• Aflac critical illness insurance claim was approved. This was approved, despite my condition being pre-existing to signing up for the insurance.
• I received and continue to receive the very best medical care possible by knowledgeable, skilled, and compassionate nurses and doctors at the hospital. 

Rey's Speeder and Campbell's Soups

Day Plus 35,36,37,38,39,40-Back To The Hospital

Much can be said about these past six days (Wednesday Aug 23-Monday Aug 28). We went to the ER Wednesday night to figure out what was going on with my persisting fevers. In fact Wednesday night was the highest temperature I've had during all of this madness. I had brought a day's worth of extra clothes in my backpack along with a few snacks, and my phone and charger, anticipating they may keep me an extra day. WRONG. They ran a bunch of tests including CT scans, all of which came back negative, but decided to have me admitted into the hospital for monitoring shortly after midnight. They put me in a nice solo room in the F-Ground unit of the hospital, which is normally for hematology and oncology patients. It was very spacious and had a nice view out the window. It even had a bed with an inflatable mattress that would adjust as you moved around. This was my best room yet. Unfortunately my stay would be short-lived. As the doctors tried to rule things out, on Friday, they decided to have my chest catheter removed. It was the only foreign thing in my body so perhaps there was an infection from the line. It would make sense. For something that required outpatient surgery to put in, it came out within a second. It just took a quick pull by the PA, counting me down, and telling me to take a deep breath, and at exhale, it was out. It must have been a foot long tube. I was tempted to ask for it as a souvenir but I thought maybe not. In its place, they inserted some temporary peripheral IVs in each arm. Later that Friday afternoon, my nurse told me they were moving me again, the story of my life, this time back to where it all began, E1 unit.

Here was another twist to the hospital saga. On Friday, my social worker stopped by to tell us that if the patient is admitted back into the hospital, our housing situation could be revoked because it is meant for the patient, even though the caregiver is still living there, and there were people on the waiting list for the apartments. So if it were to come down to it, my wife, who is supposed to be my caregiver (let me stress CAREGIVER), would have to move 3 months worth of belongings using our small Camry into some storage unit or who knows where, and possibly have to sleep in the hospital atrium for who knows how many days. How heartless is that? Who came up with that policy? We found out later from the BMT nurses that in fact 7 out of 10 BMT patients end up back in the hospital for things just like this. Our social worker was the bearer of bad news. From what I was told, it wasn't a Stanford thing, and that our social worker would do her best to stretch it out as long as she could, possibly until Monday or Tuesday. I was tempted to just say well if you can't find anything wrong with me then I'm going home (our apartment) now. Fortunately for us, we trust in a God who is greater than any policy or bureaucracy. So before we moved to my new room, Becky and I just prayed.

1 Chronicles 29:11
Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all.

As I was transported on my hijacked air cushioned bed from F-Ground, going back to the E1 unit brought back a flood of memories. My new room was 144A (A meant I had a window view and more storage). If there was an A, that meant that there was also a B, meaning I had a roommate once again. For now, let's call him Lazy Boy. He was a 20 year old kid from Dixon who had his mom with him everyday. On Saturday, after all the ongoing tests came back negative, I tested positive for Cytomegalovirus (CMV) which is a common virus that can infect almost anyone. Once infected, your body retains the virus for life. Most people don't know they have CMV because it rarely causes problems in healthy people. In fact both I and my sister who donated her bone marrow had the CMV virus already, like many people, but it was dormant in me as they tested for it regularly during my first hospital stay, when I was admitted to the ER on Wednesday, and the following days, until this Saturday when blood tests came back positive. They found it so early that it hopefully can be easily treated with medication. So that was what the doctors were saying was the cause of my fevers and possibly nausea. In order to be discharged I had to go 48 hours without a fever (anything below 100.4 deg Fahrenheit). So I spent the following days taking in fluids, and more meds, along with playing some new games on the phone, Clash of Clans and Clash Royale (thanks Julian and Mike), and watching the Dbacks sweep the Giants with Becky.

So, back to my roomie Lazy Boy. He wasn't as bad as the last guy, Big Country. But this kid was lazy. I was there for almost 4 days, and not once did he take a shower (even at the continual prompting of his nurses; it was always, "in a little bit"), brush his teeth, change his clothes, or do his mouth care (salt water rinses). He was constantly vomiting from chemo and getting diarrhea. You could only imagine the odors that were slowly building up on the other side of that curtain. All he would do was sleep, go on his phone, and watch tv, while his mom sat there on her tablet. In fact, he was so lazy, when his IV machine would beep, he would often just let it keep on beeping, never calling anyone on the intercom, until a nurse would randomly walk in. Imagine our annoyance hearing beep, beep, beep, beep for 20 minutes. Out of stubbornness on my end I wasn't going to call for him. But on one occasion I did call for my nurse to bring applesauce knowing she would walk over to his machine to fix his beeping. There was one awkward moment when we overheard Lazy Boy and his mom arguing, and him basically telling her to shutup on numerous occasions. It was sad, yet humorous and entertaining on our end as we could hear them just over the curtain.

On Saturday, one of my coworkers Joanna and her friend stopped by for a quick visit, bearing gifts and all. My coworkers decided to fill a small BioMarin rolling luggage with all sorts of Asian treats, magazines, and a Rivals for Catan 2 player board game. I couldn't believe how much stuff was in there. And they brought me a nice yellow orchid as well. I definitely could feel the BioMarin QA Validation love! I'm thankful for such a great group of folks that I work with. To cap off the night, I was also able to stream the Mayweather vs McGregor fight from my phone. It was a much better fight than I was expecting.

On Sunday, we were able to Skype into church service again for both morning and evening. One of the other cool things was being able to see and chat with some of the nurses and nurse assistants who previously took care of me during my first stay on E1. That is probably the only thing I will miss. With no fevers all day Sunday, Monday was definitely looking like a possible discharge date.

On Monday morning, one of the doctors came by to tell me they were going to discharge me later in the afternoon. In celebration, I ordered me a nice cheeseburger with bacon and soy cheese, along with potato wedges and a Pepsi. Unfortunately the bun withered in the covered plate as our pharmacist nurse came by to give us a teaching lesson on how to administer the Ganciclovir (used to treat my CMV) filled ball at home. The minute she left I devoured that burger, withered bun and all, and had visions of a Wendy's bacon cheeseburger. No restaurant food for me until 90 days following transplant. By 5pm that Monday, it was time to go. On my way out the door I passed by my roomie thinking of the Fresh Prince line, "Yo homes smell you later." I was once again wheeled out in a wheelchair to see the outside, feel the gentle breeze and heat from the afternoon sun. I was free once again and we still had an apartment, in God's always perfect timing.

Isaiah 55:9
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Day Plus 33,34-You Talkin Bout Practice?

Monday was filled with another visit to the Cancer Center. While most visits are only 1-2 hours long, this day, however, turned into a 3 hour visit. We checked in at 8:00am for my 8:10am appointment, however we were not called back until 8:50am. Apparently the check-in counter did not check me in properly upon initial arrival, until I asked why it was taking so long closer to 8:40am. The squeaky wheel always gets the oil as Becky would say. They did the usual vitals, visited with the nurse and the physicians assistant, and this time visited with the doctor. No new news with handling the fevers. Blood counts continue to look good, with the exception of my platelets which continue to drop. They said its pretty normal, but could be a result of fighting off whatever is causing the fevers.

I still also continue to take several 1-2 hour naps during the day. For some reason, after awaking from a nap this day, I finally decided to try to start learning to play the ukulele. I asked Becky to bring it thinking I may want to learn while I had all this time on my hands. So I downloaded an ukulele tuner app and tried to tune the ukulele. It was much harder than I thought, perhaps because I've never learned to play any instruments. Then I went on YouTube to find some beginner lessons for chords to play on the ukulele. In learning the C, A-minor, F, and G chords, I learned how to position your fingers on specific frets and strings. The most common chord sequence used in hundreds of songs is the C-G-Am-F chord sequence. Now I just need to continue to practice, practice, practice.

Tuesday was no appointments. I spent a portion of the day continuing to practice, in my obsessive compulsive way, the ukulele in the C-G-Am-F chord sequence, progressing from one chord to the other and back again, each time stating the name of the chord aloud. Becky said it eventually started to sound good. I'll take that as a compliment, considering she knows how to play the guitar and the piano.

Day Plus 28,29,30,31,32-I've Got the Fever

Wednesday and Thursday were pretty quiet. Friday night, however, I ended up with a low grade fever of about 100.7 degrees. Becky called the hospital to find out if there was anything we should do. In the end I ended up just taking a Tylenol, but they also wanted me to come in on Saturday morning to the Cancer Center to get checked out. What I thought was going to be a quick visit ended up being a 7 hour stay. They performed some bloodwork, a urine sample, and a swab (they take this very thin, long swab and put it far down your nose to test for any viruses), gave me fluids, magnesium, and a chest x-ray. And there was a lot of waiting in between. All the tests came back negative. They think the virus just could be a result of my body fighting the grafted bone marrow. On Sunday, we were able to Skype into church service again. Later that Sunday, my parents and sister came by to visit bearing gifts as requested: Frosted Mini Wheats, toilet paper, and paper towels. My low-grade fever continued to persist that day, so later that evening, Becky called the hospital again. The doctor wanted her to pickup some antibiotics for me to start taking. Up to this day, my nausea also continues to come and go. It comes on real strong for several minutes, where I am able to either wait it out, take some Ativan to get rid of it almost immediately, or just vomit if it becomes too overwhelming.

Everyday I am reminded that while it seems like the worst is over, these low-grade fevers and nausea remind me that I am not back to normal health. The same can be said with how we are to trust in God both in the largest of trials like getting a bone marrow transplant, and even in the minutia of daily everyday life, like minor fevers, and occasional nausea. We can easily think that God will deal with all the big things, and I will deal with all the little things. But that is not the case.

Psalm 55:22 says "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."

1 Peter 5:6-7 says "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

There is no anxiety, worry, care, or trial, big or small, that the Lord will not handle, because He cares for His children, those who trust Him. So it is with boldness and confidence that I can cast these fevers and nausea on the Lord.